I haven't really talked about how this all started.... My old obsession with wrestling and how it haunts me now.....

Of course, for anyone who actually cares enough, I've been frequently updating my journal because alot has been going on and I've been doing alot of thinking. I really think that all of this thinking has to stop because it just leads me to more and more questions, all of which I don't think there will be an answer for. Just more philosophies and bullshit like that.... I think so much that I waste my life thinking.

Let me introduce myself... As I haven't really done it in any of my Journal Entries. I'm a 14 year old male, most evident from my profile. I'm pretty shy and sometimes I'm insecure but, who really isn't. I don't think I'm interesting at all, I just have a bunch of philosophies and ideals bottled up inside of me that really... don't matter. Just a bunch of answers I put together about questions that I wanted answers for. Obviously they're all most logical and very believable but, sometimes, without reasonable proof can be seen as lies. I just want to find a purpose in life, my own story. Yeah, sometimes I dream of some dillusional romance that I know I'll never see but, that's probably because I can't find much things better to do.

I've been told of my potential and know of it too but, although I know I can top my school, I haven't been inspired enough to do so. I don't get in trouble and get decent grades, typically I blend in and other times I don't. One thing I want to do, as much as this makes me an attention whore, is to be something huge, something that will leave an impact on society in itself. I want people to remember me even after I die because I'll at least have something to look forward to in death. I fear death, which obviously means that I fear all that associates with it. I am phobic of everything to a certain extent because I want to stay in this dillusional world and find out why I'm here. Maybe, if you find your purpose than you'll die and move on. Maybe, this is all just a test or something. I really don't know the circumstances of why I'm here or how I do what I do and feel what I feel. This all ties back to me not wanting to ask questions and to face reality. I want to feel life both at it's best and at it's worst. One thing I never want to be a part of is a life of drugs...

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Now, what I promised in the title, an explanation on my addiction of wrestling. It all started when I was only five years old, my Uncle ordered the King of the Ring, Pay-Per-View in 1996 and I saw Austin at his birth but, had never seen Wrestling so I didn't know about it. All that I knew was that I was hooked and couldn't get off of it. I didn't know if it was real, the way they took the beatings but, I knew that I appreciated the fact that there was a new episode guarenteed each week for every year with a bonus event that, unfortunatly, you had to pay for. Fortunatly for me I knew someone who taped all of the PPV's and watched them with him but, he's moved now.

Don't get me wrong, I had hardly knew of WCW and ECW. I knew they existed but, whenever I watched it I assumed it was the WWF and just watched it. Not understanding much of the superstar change but, knowing I found it by flipping through the channels like I normally did. I actually bought a game called WCW vs. NwO Revenge for the N64, without understanding that it was the WCW, GOldberg looked like my favorite wrestler Stone Cold so I got it and that's when I understood that there was a WCW. I still didn't know how to watch WCW or ECW... I saw a single episode of the ECW in 1999 and was amazed by RVD who was defending a title known as the TV Title.

For the most part I watched and supported the WWF, I never really got the other company's deal in terms of the fued, I always thought they were a joint company with their different segments. I loved my naiivety thoroughly when I was young. All I wanted was violance and excitement, and I remember thinking that these shows were basically movies that mixed all kinds of genre's into it every week. I always loved the ending to the movies no matter what. Of course I was a complete and utter fan of all faces and when I was taken to the event was the wildest SOB ever. I remember going to a house show that my parents told me was WWE No Mercy, I don't know if it was or wasn't but, I do remember cursing my lungs out. Everyone was looking at me but, I didn't give a damn, I was ready to go down to the ring and fight the heel who I hated. It was incredible.

Then, in 2002 after taping so many shows, a fate was coming... something that was going to change my life. As the name of the company changed I didn't care, I didn't foresee the roster split or anything. When everything gradually took a downward spiral I was saddened like never before. I tried to find a new niche but, it didn't work out and here I am, still waiting for the bastards in the creative team to make something... creative.

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Dream Matches:

HBK vs. The Rock - The Rock beat Hogan and HBK lost to Hogan, they're both two of the greatest charismatic enigma's and the Rock had some harsh words for HBK in an interview about his contract expiring in the WWE. He said he doesn't care about the match, I do...

Stone Cold vs. Hulk Hogan - This has been in the works for a while, I don't know when it'll happen but, I'm sure it will. Austin is a bad ass and Hogan is a good ass but the fans love em' both, who'll prevail?

Undertaker vs. Kane(HIAC) - The Undertaker was in the first Hell In A Cell match and Kane screwed him out of victory, will Undertaker ever get his revenge in the match his brother made him lose?

Triple H vs. Bret Hart vs. Kurt Angle - They are all phenomina's of their time and all are big shots, who could win?

I'll edit more in later...